When well meaning people ask me, “what is your book about?” the bottoms of my feet get hot and I am just as likely to give a 10 second answer as a three minute ramble (that they may not be ready for). This tells me it’s time to nail the one sentence summary for my novel.

I did some research on what should and shouldn’t be included and I found the Snowflake Method really helpful with this (as with general outline help). Ingermanson says to start by distilling your novel down into one sentence, 15 words or less. I have written about two pages of these “one sentences” and it isn’t easy, but it is critical. This is the one sentence I always need to rattle off when someone asks ‘what’s it about?’ so that I am only going more in depth for people who want it.

One 15 word sentence that wraps up the ethos of the novel. No biggie, right? Like I said, many attempts, before I share the latest and shortest, here are some of my fails:

“A cynical girl learns from her twin that she can leave her dying planet, but once gone, she is determined to save the place she’s always hated.”

It’s 27 words, well over the gold standard and it’s trying to tell too much of the story.

Here’s another:

“A cynical girl trying to survive, discovers she is not from this dying world and she has the power to take herself to her home planet. When her mother and sister don’t make it back, she has to find the strength to save them and to help her new world destroy the old one.”

At 54 words, this could be part of the pitch but definitely not the one sentence summary.

...But I think I have finally nailed the elusive one sentence. Let me know if you think this one works in the comments below. It’s the shortest sentence I’ve come up with so far, 16 words:  

“A jaded girl unites with her mother and twin to save Earth from a black hole.”

What do you think? Would you want to hear more?

I was struggling to craft a short sentence because I was trying to summarize the whole story, but that actually isn’t needed with this. It’s more important to give a taste of the major elements in the story. With A Place Between, that is two things: 1) the strengthened family connection when the twins are brought back together and 2) their shared goal to save Earth.

Let me know in the comments below if you think this one nails it or if I need to go back to the drawing board. If you have a one line summary, for your current work let’s see it in the comments!

Next week: The revised full pitch :).